I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
