Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize