Me too!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize