my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Terrible idea I love it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
