my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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