so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
