so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
