if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
