it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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