there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
