They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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