Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
