god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
