uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
