i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
