She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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