OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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