too bad you live with your parents still
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
