so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
