Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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