the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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