So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
