Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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