Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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