he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize