she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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