she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
