My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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