They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize