It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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