This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize