i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
