Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
