Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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