If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My life is pants optional.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
