so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
