oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
