you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize