whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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