is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
