so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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