i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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