youre lurking in front of me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize