oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
