I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
