And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize