I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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