it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Randomize
