ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
