So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
