yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize