i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
