Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
