Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
