a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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