apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
