think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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