what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
