And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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