Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Who put my cat in the fridge?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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