she woke up with a sticky ear
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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