A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
