Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
